


I love you, Lindo

by lukesreid



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Aaron Hotchner, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Drug Withdrawal, Gay Luke Alvez, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, M/M, Protective Aaron Hotchner, emily cares about spencer, he's a bi mess i dont care, luke is the best boyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukesreid/pseuds/lukesreid
Summary: AU where Luke and Spencer meet during season one and their relationship grows from there.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid
Comments: 30
Kudos: 191





	1. Let me buy you a drink?

He didn’t want to go to the bar, he didn’t, but he could only say no so many times before the team started hating him. That’s how he found himself sitting in the booth alone, the rest of the team on the floor, dancing. Hotch hadn’t come, it was expected, he had Jack at home, so he had no one to talk to, everyone else painfully drunk. He stirred the straw that came with his drink, watching as the pink liquid swirled in his glass, the only way he could stand alcohol was when it was filled with sugar, much like his coffee. He must look like a sad sight, to the rest of the bar, alone drinking while wearing, well, the clothes he likes. Somehow, Spencer didn’t seem to care about what they think, he was just bored. That’s what made him pull his book out of his satchel, picking up where he last was. It was extremely hard to concentrate on the words with the blaring music, but he could still read it well enough.

After about five minutes, he heard someone sit down next to him, assuming it was someone from the team. He looked up and then jumped when he saw a stranger sitting there. A very attractive stranger, “U-Uh, hi?”

The man laughed lowly and Spencer felt his stomach flip at the sound, “Hi, I’m Luke. Luke Alvez. You looked lonely,” he cleared his throat and took a sip of his beer, “Who comes to a club to read?”

Spencer felt his cheeks flush at the words, he didn’t think anyone was paying too close attention to him, “Um, I’m here with my friends, this isn’t really my scene.”

“Maybe I could help make it your scene,” Luke said with a smirk. Spencer’s heart skipped a beat, any chance of speaking dying in his throat.

“I-Uh-um.”

Spencer flushed even darker when Luke threw his head back with laughter, his shoulders shaking from the laugh, “You’re adorable. Let me buy you a drink?” All Spencer could do was close his mouth and nod quickly, not trusting himself to produce any coherent words. Luke made his way towards the bar and Spencer closed his book, setting it in his lap and staring down at his hands, Luke was an extremely attractive guy. Extremely. No guy who looked like that had ever been interested in him before. Not like this, not without knowing him. His train of thought was cut off when Luke came back with a bright blue drink in his hand, “I figured I’d get you another sugary one, judging off the ones you’ve been drinking while you’ve been here.”

“How long were you watching me?” Spencer squeaked out, taking the drink and thanking him softly. Luke shuffled into the booth next to him and leaned closer to him, Spencer knew Luke was pursuing him at that moment, it was obvious.

“Mm, since you got here. That might be weird, but you just immediately caught my attention. You’re really pretty,” Spencer watched as Luke brought his hand up, brushing his hair out of his face. His heart was beating faster than it possibly ever had, staring into Luke’s dark eyes, “You never told me your name.”

“Oh! Um, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid,” Spencer said softly and felt as Luke’s hand stilled in his hair.

“You’re a doctor?” He asked softly, “You seem a bit young to be a doctor.”

“Not a medical one, um I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry, Engineering, and Mathematics. I’m 23 years old,” Spencer mumbled, focusing on the breath he could feel ghosting over his face from Luke’s proximity. 

“Three PhDs?” Luke asked in shock and Spencer nodded quickly, watching as Luke smiled and his hand started moving again, “So you’re really smart, huh? A genius. That’s hot,” Spencer didn’t think his body could rush any more blood to his cheeks, but it did, “Would you wanna get out of here with me?”

Spencer felt his heart stop and his brain short-circuit. This man had just asked him to leave, he knew what that meant. Maybe it was the six cocktails he consumed, but Spencer found himself nodding, tucking his book in his messenger bag and following Luke out of the bar. The team the last thing on his mind.

\--

The second they made it into Luke’s apartment, Spencer found himself pinned against the wall, his lips slamming onto Spencer’s. He hadn’t done this in a while, but he quickly followed Luke’s lead, cupping Luke’s face and arching into his body. Luke’s scent was intoxicating. Smelling like cedar and vanilla, it was comforting but it made him stir in his pants even more. Luke’s tongue was stroking his bottom lip, Spencer immediately moaning and opening his mouth, feeling as Luke deepened the kiss. 

“You’re so beautiful, Lindo,” Spencer didn’t know what that meant, but he whimpered at Luke’s accent. Luke’s head ducked down and started sucking up and down his neck, Spencer’s hands traveling down to his shoulders and gripping them softly. When he got to the junction where his jaw met his neck, he whined loudly, throwing his head back. Spencer felt as Luke smirked against his skin, sucking even harder. 

Spencer felt as Luke’s hands traveled down until the reached the back of his thighs, scooping him up into his arms. The genius squeaked at the sudden movement, but lets legs wind around Luke’s waist, walking Spencer to his room presumably.

\--

Spencer’s head fell back against the pillow under his head, breathing rapidly. He felt as Luke pulled out and took the condom off, getting off the bed and going to the bathroom to throw it away. Spencer’s eyes fell shut and he let his body fall limp, that was amazing. He had never done something like that before, have sex with a stranger. He’d only had sex with Ethan before, they knew each other extremely well before anything happened, but this was different. It was intoxicating. 

Spencer didn’t hear when Luke came back but jumped when he felt a warm, wet washcloth on his stomach. He looked down and saw Luke cleaning up the mess before it dried, wiping it clean and pressing a kiss right below his navel, “That was nice, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire apartment complex heard you.”

Spencer’s cheeks heated up and he bit his lip, “I’m sorry, it just felt really nice. It’s been a while, I’ll admit.”

He watched as Luke tossed the washcloth into his laundry basket and laid down next to Spencer, pulling the man into his chest, “I hope you don’t mind, I enjoy post-sex cuddles.”

Spencer laughed softly, “Not at all, I do too.”

Spencer kept his eyes on Luke’s face, even as the man’s eyes closed, they traced down to his arms that wrapped around him, bringing his hand up and stroking the muscles in front of him.

“Are you studying my body? Your eyes feel very intense,” Luke asked, his eyes opening and looking down at Spencer.

“You’re very attractive,” Spencer said and heard as Luke laughed, “Not just like that, but proportionally as well. Your face is very well proportioned and your arms have a very good muscle mass to them, as does the rest of your body. You work out a lot.”

Luke chuckled and nodded, “I’m in the FBI, so yeah.”

“You’re an agent?” Spencer asked, not knowing if Luke was lying or not.

“Yep, my credentials are in my drawer,” Luke reached over blindly and pulled it out, handing it to Spencer. 

“I am too,” Spencer said and opened the little black book, looking at the writing on it, “I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

“Ah, that explains why you’re so smart. I’ve always been fascinated with your work. I started taking some classes on profiling. I was in the army, originally, but now I work white-collar crimes.”

“A lot less traveling,” Spencer said and smiled up at him. 

Luke nodded slowly, “Yeah, a lot less traveling.”

\--

When Spencer woke up, he immediately felt his head pounding. He sat up quickly and grabbed his head, opening his eyes. This wasn’t his room. He had completely forgotten he had gone home with someone else last night. He looked over and saw Luke starting to wake up. Spencer slept with a stranger. That wasn’t him, he never did stuff like that, he never had. 

“Are you okay?” He heard Luke mumble softly. 

“U-Uh, yeah, I just- ‘ve got a headache,” he mumbled and Luke sat up, frowning softly.

“Let me go get you some medicine and water, I’ll start some coffee, too,” he got out of bed and slipped a pair of sweatpants on, leaving the room. Spencer looked down at himself and saw he was wearing no clothes, remembering all of his clothes except his underwear had been stripped on the way to the bedroom. 

He slid on the boxers and then slowly made his way towards Luke’s closet, debating on whether he should take a shirt. Before he could stop himself, he had pulled the closet doors open and grabbed the first sweater he saw, sliding it on and exiting the bedroom. It took him longer than he’d care to admit to making his way to the kitchen, not remembering any of his surroundings from last night as well as the pain he felt in his lower back. He definitely remembered Luke’s size, it had scared him at first. Ethan was not nearly as big. 

“Oh! You found my closet, good. Here’s some medicine,” Luke plopped two pills into Spencer’s hand and then handed him a glass of water, “You’re a lightweight then.”

Spencer took the pills and nodded, “I never really go out, rarely drink alcohol. I’d prefer to stay home and read or watch something while drinking tea or coffee. Or hot chocolate.”

“Yeah, I definitely get that vibe from you. Um, I hope this isn’t coming off as too forward, but would you want to go out with me? Like, an actual date,” Spencer choked on the water in his mouth and then started coughing trying to get the water out of his air pipe, “Woah, are you okay?”

Spencer nodded softly and finally relieved his throat, “Sorry, I, Uhm, I’m not used to people being interested in me. I’ve only actually had two people pursue me before. Um, that would be nice. You seem like a nice person.”

Luke smiled and nodded, Spencer’s stomach fluttering at the sight before him, “Great, it’s a date.”


	2. I Never Stop Learning With You

Spencer and Luke had exchanged numbers and Spencer realized how late in the morning it was. Luke noticed the panic wash over Spencer’s face and spoke up, “I can lend you a shirt and tie if you want a new one from yesterday. I’m sure you don’t want to wear the same outfit.”

Spencer smiled at the offer, nodding softly, “Yeah, that would be helpful, thank you.” 

He stood awkwardly in the living room, looking around at Luke’s belongings. You could tell a lot about a person from how they decorated their living space. From the looks of it, Luke was still stuck in the military mentality. His apartment was hardly decorated, it looked like he could pack all of his most important belongings in a duffel bag and leave on command. Spencer frowned at the realization but shook the thoughts away. Having a routine ingrained into your brain from a younger age is normal, he was the same way when he started college. 

“Here you go, I’m afraid the shirt will be a bit big on you, but it shouldn’t be too bad. Not with your cardigan covering it, at least,” Luke spoke from the entrance to the living room and Spencer turned around, smiling and thanking the man before him. He made his way into the bathroom and got changed, wearing the pants and cardigan from yesterday. It was doubtful that the team would notice, they were all likely hungover and wouldn’t care too much about his choice of outfit. 

Once he had gotten dressed, Luke offered to drive him to Quantico as they were both going there. Spencer kindly accepted his offer and said goodbye in the elevator, Spencer getting off and then waving to Luke. Once the elevator doors closed, he cleared his throat and walked straight to the bullpen, walking to his desk and plopping down, looking over the files that were already stacking up. It was silent, the rest of the team hadn’t arrived yet, save for Hotch who was up in his office as per usual. 

After he had gotten through over seven files, the team slowly started filing in. Elle came first, sitting in the desk facing him, “Where did you go last night? No one saw you leave.”

Spencer looked up and he felt his stomach flip slightly. He knew how to lie, he’s done it more than he can count. It was different doing so to a team of profilers, but he could easily manage, “I got bored, you guys left me in the booth so I took the bus home.”

Elle just nodded softly and grabbed a file, taking a sip from her thermos and starting on the work for the day.

\--

They were on a plane ride to Topeka, Kansas for a case. They had already gotten their designated jobs assigned to them on the plane, so they were able to do as they wished. Spencer was both reading and texting Luke. The two had been texting a lot after their first date, Luke’s personality was once Spencer never knew if he would tire from. 

Luke: Tell me the first fact that comes to your head, I’m bored. 

Spencer smiled down at his phone and immediately started typing.

Spencer: Research has shown that blackberries have high levels of antioxidants that have been known to aid in protecting against inflammation, cancer, aging, and many neurological diseases. 

He set the phone down, diving back into his book. After a few moments, he heard his phone buzz and he picked it up, smiling as he read the message.

Luke: The first thing that came to your mind was blackberries?

Luke: That’s interesting, though. I guess I’ll be adding blackberries to my diet. 

Spencer bit his lip and felt his heartbeat accelerate. He was so happy whenever he was talking to Luke, the man seemed to be genuinely interested in the things he had to say, it made him feel a little more appreciated than he did with the team. 

Spencer: Good idea, I need you around for a while.

After the message was sent, Derek kicked his shin softly, pulling his attention away from the phone, “Is that a girl’s number? You seem to be smiling at your phone quite a lot,” Spencer rolled his eyes and put his phone down, picking up his book and focusing on the words instead of Morgan, “You’re ignoring me, it’s definitely a girl you’re talking too.”

“Leave Spencer alone, Morgan,” Hotch mumbled from his seat next to Spencer. 

“C’mon, Hotch, aren’t you curious about the lover Spencer acquired under our noses?” Morgan asked and smirked at Spencer. All the genius did was sigh and lean back in his seat softly, letting his eyes flit over the words in front of him. 

“No, we’re allowed some privacy in our lives, that includes Spencer, despite what you may think.”

Morgan huffed and leaned forward, his elbows on the table and staring at Spencer, “I can give you some advice, Pretty Boy. You don’t have to hide it from us, me.”

“I met a guy in a book club I’m in, he had similar taste in books as me, so I got his number and we can exchange book recommendations. That’s it,” Spencer mumbled and turned the page.

He knew Morgan wasn’t going to think he meant anything romantic with the guy, he viewed Spencer as straight as a stick, even if that was further than the truth. Gideon had advised him to stay in the closet the second his application was approved from the Bureau. Spencer didn’t care all too much, he still wasn’t entirely close with the team, it wasn’t like he would be struggling to keep it a secret from them. 

“Oh, a fellow nerd, then I’m done hearing about it.”

\--

The second the team landed, Spencer rushed off the runway. Luke had waited a little longer and was picking him up from the parking garage, taking him straight to the older man’s apartment for a movie night. Spencer had discovered that Luke was just as much of a nerd as he was, so they decided to watch Star Wars together. The two of them agreed that the original movies were superior to any of the other movies in the franchise, so they had chosen to watch those movies. It was refreshing, having someone who was different from him yet similar in ways that worked seamlessly.

The second he walked into the parking garage, he beelined straight towards Luke’s parking spot, hopping into the passenger seat. Luke looked up from the book he had in his hands and smiled at him, “It’s good to see you again, Spence,” Spencer felt butterflies explode in his stomach when Luke leaned over the center console and pecked his lips softly, “Ready to go?”

Spencer nodded eagerly and clipped his seatbelt, “It’s good to see you too,” he mumbled and watched as Luke closed the book, setting it on the dashboard before starting the car and pulling out of the building. He looked at the book on the dashboard and then furrowed his eyebrows, recognizing the copy.

“Is that my book?” Spencer asked, his eyes moving to train on Luke.

“Yeah, you left it at my apartment last time you came over. I figured if you were reading it, it must be a good book. I was right. I hope you don’t mind, I’m almost finished,” Luke said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Spencer smiled at that. No one had ever truly been interested in reading the things he liked, but Luke read one of his books because he knew Spencer liked it. It was heartwarming, Spencer didn’t know what to do with the feeling rising in his chest, “I don’t mind. I, uhm, the only person who ever really listens to my book recommendations is my mother. Thank you, you know, for caring.”

“Your friends don’t like what you read?” Luke asked softly, stopping at a red light and looking over at him. 

Spencer shrugged, “They aren’t too interested in the things I have to say. My boss typically is, when I go off on a tangent, he usually participates in the conversation, asking questions. I think he might feel a responsibility to me- like an older brother? I don’t know, but the rest of the team usually cuts me off or walks away. It’s nice to be listened to.”

Spencer watched as Luke’s jaw tightened and he reached forward, grabbing Spencer’s hand and pulling it to the center console, intertwining their fingers. Touching Luke was unlike touching any other person. Wherever they would touch, Spencer’s body tingled and his blood pounded in his ears. It was unbelievable to him that a man like Luke was interested in him at all, “Well, I think what you know is incredible. I’ve never met someone as smart as you, watching how happy you are when you talk about these things, even if it’s random, makes me happy. I never get to stop learning with you, I love it.”

All the heat in his body immediately rushed to his face and Luke turned back to the road, driving through the intersection, “Thank you, I’m glad it’s not annoying.”

Luke chuckled and shook his head, “Never.”

The drive home was pretty silent from there, Spencer was too preoccupied watching the way the lights from the streetlamps illuminated Luke’s face to spit out any conversations. 

\--

“There’s gotta be a reason you’re so happy, Pretty Boy. I haven’t seen you smile this much since I’ve known you.”

Spencer sighed and looked up at Derek, “What’s wrong with me smiling?”

Morgan quirked an eyebrow and sat on the end of his desk, “There’s nothing wrong with you smiling. It’s just- I want to know why you smile while typing away on that phone so often.”

Spencer shrugged in response and opened his desk drawer, grabbing his book and tossing his phone in his messenger bag. He really didn’t enjoy how pushy Derek was with his personal life. It was his own business, he had a right to privacy, “Is that better for you?”

“I can have Garcia hack your phone if I need to,” he said and laughed, but Spencer didn’t find it all that funny. Throughout the six months he had been with Luke, he never thought about Penelope using her technological skills to spy on him.

“Can you leave me alone? I don’t ask about every girl you go to a bar and bed, do I? Let me live my life the way I want it and if you have Penelope snoop into my private life, then I will immediately go to Hotch and the two of you will get in massive trouble,” Spencer said quickly and then felt his cheeks heat up, “I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be mean. I’m really sorry.”

Before he could bear to listen to Morgan or Elle’s reaction to his blow-up, he grabbed his messenger bag and swung it over his shoulder, rushing out of the bullpen and straight to the bathroom. He just yelled at his colleagues, he didn’t mean to. No matter how angry Spencer got, he never yelled at anyone. He didn’t want to be like his father.

Once he arrived at the bathroom, he rushed to the closest bathroom stall and locked himself in it, leaning against the wall and swallowing a sob that threatened to break from his throat. He needed to be professional, he was an Agent, he shouldn’t be crying in the bathroom. The mini pep talk in his head meant nothing as he felt tears leak from his eyes. He buried his head in his hands and sunk to the floor, ignoring every statistic in his mind about how dirty they were. 

Two people who were just trying to be his friends, that’s all they were doing, and he yelled at them. His body froze up when he heard the door open and another person clear their throat, “Spencer? I saw you rush out of the room, are you okay?” It was Hotch.

“I-I’m fine,” he squeaked out, his voice breaking despite only speaking two words. 

“Can you open the door?” Spencer squeezed his eyes shut and wiped his face furiously, standing up and opening the door. Nothing could prepare him for the sight in front of him. Hotch’s emotional walls were down, his face holding nothing but sympathy and worry, “What’s going on? You’ve been really on edge about, well, everything. Do you need some time off?”

Spencer shook his head quickly, looking up into Hotch’s eyes, “No! No, I’m just. I don’t want them to know about, you know.”

Hotch raised his eyebrow, “I don’t know.”

Spencer bit his lip, should he tell him? Hotch was probably the person he would trust to take a secret to the grave, he hid everything so easily. There was a voice in the back of his head, nagging about how badly he could react, the Bureau was not known for the inclusivity. Despite how bad it could end for it, he wanted to get it off his chest. 

“It’s a guy,” he mumbled and his eyes fell downcast, staring at his scuffed up sneakers.

“Pardon?”

“Who Morgan has been bugging me about, it’s a guy. Gideon said I shouldn’t be out, not in the Bureau, and he’s right. I mean, I don’t want to be fired or to be treated terribly on the job, and now I’ve told you. Oh, I told you,” Spencer felt his heart stop and fear overcome his body. He’s been alive long enough to know how people reacted to this. 

Hotch raised his arm and Spencer immediately flinched, his arms reflexively blocking his face, “Hey, no. I’m not going to hurt you,” Hotch reached forward and pulled Spencer into a hug, “There’s nothing to be scared about. It’s probably a good idea not to be fully out to the entire bureau, but the team could never hate you. Morgan bugging you is annoying, I know, but he’s doing it because he cares for you, even if it doesn’t feel that way,” Hotch mumbled and Spencer squeezed his eyes shut. Hotch didn’t mind? “If it makes you feel more comfortable, um, I’m bisexual. I don’t know if your gay or, whatever, but if you ever need to talk to me about something, I’m here.”

The only emotion Spencer could feel at that point was confusion. Did his boss actually just come out to him? Spencer pulled away and looked up at him, “You like men?” Hotch nodded and Spencer shook his head slightly, “Wow, I never knew.”

“That’s the point,” Hotch said lightly and Spencer smiled, “I’m not going to poke anymore into your relationship, you deserve as much privacy as you want. Did you get all your files done?” Spencer nodded quickly and Hotch sighed, “Take the rest of the day off, I’ll clock you out at the end of the day. I think you need a break, okay?”

The only thing he could muster was another nod. At that, Hotch turned on his heel and exited the bathroom. Maybe he felt a little better.


	3. I'm Luke, Luke Alvez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a chapter of fluff because now we're in season two and y'all know what happens then oops

After a year and a half of dating Luke, the two had a few disagreements on where they would be living, so Spencer had suggested looking for a new apartment for the both of them. A place where they each had enough space for their own little area and Luke teased about needing a whole room dedicated to Spencer’s books. After about three months of looking for an apartment, the realtor took them to one that seemed like it was made for them. It was an open floor plan, a lot of ways they could arrange all their belongings. There were two bedrooms and an office that could easily fit their two desks. The part that made Spencer the happiest, though, was the wall lined by bookcases and there was a fireplace in the center of the wall. Luke was excited about the window seat in their room, talking about how he and Spencer could sit there together and Luke could read to him. Everything was perfect. 

“I-I think we’ll put an offer in,” Spencer said, turning to the realtor. He felt Luke’s arm snake around his waist and pulled him into Luke’s torso. 

“It’s perfect, how much is it? I think Spencer and I would be willing to pay a larger down payment than what is being offered to guarantee ourselves the apartment,” Spencer smiled and nodded softly at the realtor. 

“I’m sure that would be more than okay. The apartment is about 1,700 a month and the down payment is the first and last month’s rent. I will talk to the seller before mentioning the offer to pay extra. Sellers tend to feel more trustworthy with extremely professional buyers. Being as you both work for the government and Doctor Reid is- well, a genius, it’s likely they will choose you out of a pool of buyers.”

“Thank you so much, it means a lot,” Spencer said softly, smiling genuinely at the woman before him. 

She nodded and saw the two of them out, locking the apartment up and splitting ways. 

“I really hope we get the apartment,” Spencer mumbled and looked over at Luke while standing in the elevator. It was so perfect. 

“Me too, Lindo, me too.”

\--

After two hours of carrying boxes from the parking lot to the top floor of the apartment building, they finally had all their belongings in the apartment. It was surreal, having the keys and being able to call the place theirs. 

“Can you believe it?” Luke asked, walking up behind Spencer and wrapping him into a hug. Spencer closed his eyes and inhaled his boyfriend’s scent, basking in the warmth he provided him. 

“Yeah, we’re here,” Spencer mumbled and smiled, hearing Luke chuckle in his ear.

“I should have seen that one coming,” he said playfully and Spencer nodded, laughing under his breath. Once they got all the boxes unpacked, they were going to be here officially. It was amazing- how easily he fell into a life with Luke. Not only that, but his mom was accepting of the relationship. Sure, she hadn’t met him yet, but from what he had told his mom, she was extremely happy her son had him by his side, “What do you say we start unpacking all your books, then we can move into the bedroom and unpack there, yeah?”

Spencer nodded and untangled himself from Luke’s arms, heading to the first box of books and getting started. 

\--

A knock came from the door and Spencer sat up from the couch, walking over to the door and opening it to see Hotch standing there with a plate of brownies and Jack cuddled into his chest, “Hi, uhm, this is random, I saw your change of residence you gave to the FBI. I thought you might want a house-warming gift? Or apartment warming, I guess. Sorry for showing up unannounced.”

Spencer smiled as he watched Hotch stumble over his words, trying to come up with a reason for why he came over, “It’s fine, Hotch. Come in.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to push you, I assume you moved apartments for a reason,” Hotch said readjusting Jack in his arms, making sure he didn’t wake up. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. I trust you, come on,” Spencer opened the door wider and motioned for Hotch to come in, taking the plates of brownies from him and taking it to the kitchen, Hotch following closely behind, “Thank you for the brownies, I’m sure they’re great.”

“I hope so, they were my grandma’s recipe, I’ve never made them before, but I used to eat them until my stomach couldn’t handle it anymore,” Hotch said and laughed slightly, adjusting Jack so he was now being cradled in his arms. 

“He’s pretty quiet,” Spencer whispered, eyeing the baby from afar. He was afraid of coming to close, babies hated him. They always had, he didn’t know why. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Hotch asked, looking down at Spencer who’s eyes widened

“Hold him?” he squeaked out, looking at Hotch as if he had two heads. Hotch nodded slightly and Spencer bit his lip, “I don’t know, babies hate me. He’s sleeping, I don’t want to make him cry.”

“He won’t. He’s a deep sleeper, I’m incredibly grateful for the nights of rest I get,” Hotch said and jerked his head, motioning for Spencer to approach him. 

The genius swallowed dryly and walked forward, holding his arms out in the way he had studied until he fell asleep. When Hotch had announced that he and Haley were expecting, Spencer knew he would come across the little boy sooner or later. He was hoping to be prepared, he didn’t want Jack to scream the second he touched him. 

Once Jack had safely made it into Spencer’s arms, his breathing stopped. Only for seven seconds, but those may have been the longest seconds of his life. When only a small squeak came out of his mouth, Spencer felt himself relax, his hand coming up to stroke the hair on Jack’s head. He remembered the day Jack was born, it was a year, seven months, two weeks, and five days. 

“He looks really healthy,” Spencer mumbled and looked up at Aaron who was smiling. 

“Yeah, he is.”

“Lindo, I’m home. I got more of the cream cheese you liked, I thought that might be good for those bagels you seem to enjoy- oh, hi?” Spencer looked up and saw Luke standing in the doorway with three bags of groceries in his hands, “I’m Luke, Luke Alvez.”

“Luke Alvez, you work for the Bureau as well,” Hotch said, smiling and offering his hand to the man, “You’re the only person who rivals my shooting scores.”

Luke smiled and nodded, “That I am, you’re Hotch, yes?” Hotch nodded, confirming what he said. Spencer smiled at the interaction and watched as Luke looked over at Spencer, his eyes widening, “Oh, it’s a baby!”

Spencer knew how awestruck Luke got whenever he was around a baby, it was adorable, “This is Jack, Hotch’s son, remember?”

“He’s so big! Can I hold him? Please?” Luke asked with big eyes, staring at Hotch. The man chuckled and nodded making Luke almost jump in excitement. 

“Oh, I wish I had seen him when he was smaller, but he’s still so cute,” Spencer carefully passed Jack over to Luke and watched as his eyes lit up the second Jack was in Luke’s arms, “Oh my god. He’s adorable. You have some damn good genes, Hotch.”

Spencer laughed at that and watched as Luke bounced the baby softly, rubbing his back, “Thank you. I am pretty proud, he’s such a sweet kid, loud when he’s hungry, but a great kid either way.”

“He looks perfect. I already love him, he’s- fuck. Oh, no! Not that word, sorry, Jack,” Spencer laughed at his boyfriend. The interaction between the two of them was adorable. At that moment, he realized just how much he loved Luke. Sure, they had said they loved each other before, but this hit him like a freight train. He loved Luke. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this perfect human being. Maybe they could even have some kids of their own one day, even if they aren’t Spencer’s biologically. 

\--

“I love you, Lindo,” Spencer heard Luke whisper in his ear and he immediately let himself go, throwing his head back and his eyes rolling to the back of his head with a loud whine. Luke finished just seconds after him, pulling out and pressing a kiss to Spencer’s lips, “Are you okay?” All Spencer did was nod softly before yawning, “Uh uh, you can’t fall asleep, little one, we have to get you washed up. You may not want to now, but I know you’ll complain tomorrow morning.”

Spencer sighed, knowing Luke was right. He rolled onto his side and sat up slowly, wincing before standing up, walking straight to the bathroom connected to their room. He knew Luke stayed behind to replace the sheets quickly. It made him happy- that Luke cared about Spencer’s quirks and fear of germs. It reassured him constantly. He smiled to himself and turned the shower on, getting into it and relaxing as the hot water hit his back. 

Luke walked into the shower, slinging his body against Spencer’s and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, “We’re not going again,” Spencer mumbled and turned around, looking at a pouting Luke. 

“Lindo… you’re so addicting,” Luke mumbled and leaned forward, nipping at Spencer’s neck. 

Spencer rolled his eyes and pulled away, pressing a kiss to Luke’s lips, “I love you, but no. We have work tomorrow,” Luke sighed but pushed no further, grabbing Spencer’s shampoo and squirting it into his hands. The genius went to complain about Luke using his soap, but the protests died in his throat when he felt Luke thread his fingers through his hair, massaging Spencer’s scalp. 

“‘Gonna complain now?” Luke asked softly, smirking at Spencer’s face filled with shock. All Spencer could manage was a slight nod before he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling. It was so domestic it made Spencer question what he did to deserve someone like Luke, “How could you not deserve someone like me?”

Spencer’s eyes flew open, looking at Luke and cringing, “I said that aloud?” 

Luke nodded and laughed, pulling his hands out of Spencer’s hair and pushing him under the stream of water, “If anything I don’t deserve you. I’ve done bad things in the past, in the army, it should have given me enough bad karma to never have a relationship like this, but here I am.”

Spencer looked into Luke’s eyes and saw the sadness looming there. He hated how Luke spoke of his time in the army, it broke Spencer’s heart. Spencer reached up and cupped Luke’s face, pulling him closer, “Hey, don’t say something like that. I know you did some things that are wrong without context, but you were fighting for the county, it was part of your job. You weren’t going on killing sprees or doing anything unnecessary. Okay? I love you and that includes you from the army, even if I didn’t know you then.”

Luke looked at him with pure love and it was staggering, seeing how expressive his lover was with no words, “God, I love you. I love you so damn much, Lindo.”


	4. I'm sorry, I can't stop

Spencer’s entire body ached as he was forced to dig in the harsh cold. His foot hurt and the pain in his head was only worsening as the drugs began to wear off. He paused and looked up, hoping his team got what he meant before Charles killed him. Maybe what he said wasn’t easy enough, maybe they never figured it out.

“What are you looking at, boy?” Charles boomed and Spencer flinched going back to digging the grave underneath him. Next thing he knew, there were flashlights and Spencer had shot a bullet into Charles’ chest. 

“Are you okay?” Spencer heard from above him and two sets of hands pulling him up from the ground. He looked up and saw Emily and Hotch. The first thing he could process was throwing himself at Hotch and holding him tight. He could feel Hotch holding him up, Spencer was hardly strong enough to stand himself. 

“I knew you’d understand,” he mumbled and hid his face in Hotch’s neck, shaking softly, “Luke, I-I want Luke.”

Hotch pulled away and looked at the others who didn’t hear what Spencer said. The genius knew how loud he was talking, he knew they wouldn’t hear, “I’ll stay with you when you go to the hospital. I’ll fly Luke down and he can see you. I’ll have them have the jet ready first thing tomorrow morning, okay?”

Spencer nodded softly and pulled away, “Thank you.”

\--

The second he saw Luke walk in the door, Spencer felt the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders, “L-Luke…” 

The older man rushed over to his side and immediately grabbed Spencer’s hand, “Lindo, baby, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this.”

Spencer swallowed harshly and smiled as much as he could, “I thought I would never see you again.”

Luke frowned and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s forehead before pressing one to his lips as well. Spencer smiled at the feeling, letting his eyes clothes and relish in the beauty that was Luke, “I’m right here, I wouldn’t let you go that easily.”

“Hotch got me just in time. You should thank him, he saved my life.”

Luke looked over and saw Hotch smiling slightly at Spencer, “It was a team effort.”

“If you didn’t care about what I had to say, then I would be dead. No one else has conversations like that with me where I could clue where I was,” Spencer mumbled, “You saved my life, Hotch. I would be dead if it weren’t for you.”

Spencer watched as Hotch’s cheeks heated up slightly, ducking his head down. No matter how many walls Hotch built around himself, Spencer could see just how little he believes in himself. He doesn’t think he’s the strongest person on the team, he doesn’t see how the other team members could realize how much he cares. Hotch has never realized just how much his presence has saved the team more times than he can count. 

“Hotch, Spence is right. I may not be on the team, but Spencer tells me enough. You are incredibly important to everyone on the team, especially Spencer. Thank you for being there for him when I can’t.”

“I-,” Hotch cleared his throat and smiled awkwardly, never really knowing how to deal with appreciation, “You’re welcome,” Spencer watched as the man leaned back in his chair and sighed, “I’ll get you guys some lunch, something other than cafeteria food. Spencer, a turkey club sandwich, right?” Spencer nodded with a smile.

“Can I get a BLT with a side of chips? Luke asked softly, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. Before he could pull out any bills, Hotch’s hand was resting over the wallet. 

“It’s fine, I have it covered. Just keep Spencer company, he missed you.”

Hotch left the room and Luke leaned forward, sitting on the side of Spencer’s bed, intertwining their fingers, “I’m so glad you’re okay, Lindo,” Luke’s other hand came up, stroking Spencer’s cheek gently, comforting the younger man. 

Spencer leaned into the touch, his eyes flitting shut, “Me too. I love you, Luke. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I love you too. I love you more than I ever thought was imaginable.”

The two sat in comfortable silence, they didn’t need to talk to know how important the moment was. They loved each other. That’s all that mattered.

\--

Spencer was curled up on the cool tile of their bathroom floor, his stomach feeling like it was crawling up his throat. He knew what it was, it was more than obvious. No matter what he knew was wrong, his body screamed for more. Before he could rationalize himself out of it, Spencer was wrapping himself in a coat, rushing out of his and Luke’s shared apartment, and walking down the early morning streets. 

He knew where to get it, he had researched it the second he had gotten home from Georgia. No matter what Luke would think of him, how disgusting he would see Spencer as he knew he had to do it. Hankel gave it to him and it helped. 

\--

Luke was searching for the keys to his car, he needed to get groceries ahead of the storm on its way. There was a blizzard that was estimated to give them over two feet of snow in one night. 

After searching every possible nook and cranny he could think of, he realized Spencer had taken the car last night. Luke walked over to where Spencer’s messenger bad was sitting next to his desk and rummaged through it, hearing the sound of the keys. He pulled them out from the bottom of the bag and was about to stand up when two small bottles caught his eyes. 

He knew this was Spencer’s privacy, but he couldn’t help but pull the two bottles from Spencer’s bag, his heart stopping the second he read the label on the bottle. 

Dilaudid

Luke’s entire world stopped just then. Spencer was still taking drugs? He didn’t notice, he knew Spencer was still struggling with the aftermath of the case in Georgia, but never in his life did he think Spencer was still taking Dilaudid. 

“Luke?” he heard brokenly from the doorway to the office. Luke stood up and turned around, facing Spencer, “Wh-Why were you going through my stuff?”

Spencer’s voice cracked and Luke watched as his eyes welled with tears, his heartbreaking at the sight of his lover, “Spencer, sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me?”

At those words, Spencer broke down, collapsing to the floor and dragging his knees to his chest, digging his nails into the inside of his elbows. Luke immediately rushed over to Spencer, wrapping the shaking man into his arms, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop. I can’t stop.”

Luke frowned and squeezed his eyes shut, holding Spencer as tight as he could, “I know, baby. I know,” He rocked Spencer softly, trying to calm his boyfriend, “I know you couldn’t. You could have told me, but I understand,” Spencer’s sobs slowly started to die down, relaxing into Luke’s warm embrace, “We’ll get through this together, Lindo, I believe you can do it. I’ll be there for you the entire time, okay?” Spencer barely nodded, burying his head in Luke’s neck. It broke his heart, seeing just how damaged Spencer really was, “God, I’m so sorry.”

Detoxing was the hardest part, Luke watching as the love of his life spent almost his entire day leaning over the toilet bowl, sweat matting his hair to his forehead. It hurt- having to force him to drink water or Gatorade and feed him, knowing he would throw it all back up in a matter of minutes. But Spencer wanted to get better. For Luke. And Luke wanted Spencer to get better more than anything else. He didn’t want the man to have to rely on a drug he didn’t even plan on getting tangled into. 

That’s what hurts the most. This wouldn’t have happened if Spencer hadn’t been taken by Hankle. 

Luke was sitting on the floor, back against the wall with a shaking Spencer curled up on the floor, head resting in his lap. The only thing covering Spencer was a pair of sweatpants and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Luke tried to leave Spencer as little as possible, the man was being clingier than usual, not wanting to get sick with Luke out of the room. 

Thankfully, Luke had called Hotch and asked if he would be able to pick up some supplies for the couple, he couldn’t leave Spencer right after finding out what he was doing. Hotch had been more than willing to do so, sensing the urgency in Luke’s voice. He knew Hotch figured out why he wouldn’t leave Spencer, Hotch was a profiler. 

The man dropped by just thirty minutes before the snowstorm started, bringing in a package of bottled water and dozens of canned food in case the power went out. Luke thanked him more times than either could count. Hotch left just after giving Spencer a hug and whispering reassuringly into his ear, thanking Luke for helping Spencer. 

Luke took in a deep breath and ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair, soothing him as best he could. He wanted to protect Spencer from all the evil in the world, this man had gone through so much in his life, Luke wanted nothing more than to take all the pain away. 

“Spence, sweetheart, I’m gonna go get you some more Gatorade, okay?” Luke asked softly, watching as Spencer opened his eyes slowly, looking up at him and pouting.

“Take me with you,” Spencer mumbled and sat up, wrapping his arms around Luke’s neck. Luke smiled sadly and stood up slowly, trying to keep his balance for Spencer’s safety. 

The younger man’s legs wrapped around Luke’s waist once they were off the ground and Spencer hid his head in Luke’s neck. Luke walked to the kitchen slowly, not wanting Spencer to be hit with a sudden wave of nausea. 

They made it to the kitchen and Luke grabbed a small Lemon-Lime Gatorade from the fridge, snagging a package of saltines as well, “Do you want to go back to the bathroom or do you wanna try sitting at the table?”

“Bathroom,” Spencer whimpered and Luke walked back to the small room, settling the two of them back on the cold tile. Luke carefully laid Spencer down, smiling when the man immediately rested his head in Luke’s crossed legs. The older man reached over, grabbing the straw from Spencer’s previous bottle and plopping it in the new one, setting the straw in between Spencer’s lips. 

“I know you don’t like eating anything, but you’ve only got a day or so left. Then the sickness should be a lot better,” Luke whispered, watching as Spencer hesitantly took a sip from the bottle. He pulled the straw from his mouth and Luke grabbed it, setting it on the floor next to them. Much to Spencer’s dismay, Luke handed the genius a saltine, eliciting a whine and pout from Spencer, “I know, sweetheart, you need to keep food in your stomach. You know better than I do how much worse it is to puke up nothing but stomach acid,” That seemed to convince Spencer enough, nibbling on the cracker while Luke still held it. Spencer managed to eat seven crackers before Luke put them away, seeing how Spencer was shaking, “Let’s get a bath started for you, okay? You’re shivering.”

“You too,” Spencer mumbled and Luke smiled, humming in agreement. He helped Spencer pull his pants off, stripping himself of his own clothes and starting the bath. 

And if Spencer dozed off in the bath, head resting on Luke’s chest, then Luke wouldn’t admit just how long he sat in the water, not wanting to disturb the boy.


	5. I’m really glad you found him, Spence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time like fully writing smut, so it's cringey i know.

Spencer woke up to the sound of Luke messing around in the bedroom. He opened one of his eyes, seeing the alarm clock was off. Spencer frowned and then noticed how cold it was in their bedroom, he managed to snuggle his face into the pillow below him, wanting to sleep a bit more. 

“Come to bed, Luke, I wanna cuddle,” Spencer mumbled softly, wanting to feel his boyfriend’s arms around him again. 

“The power’s out, Lindo, I’m getting the fireplace set up so you don’t freeze to death. You’ve barely got any meat on your arms,” Luke said teasingly and Spencer rolled his eyes, sitting up and seeing Luke wrapped in a sweater and sweatpants. The man usually only slept in his boxers. Spencer, however, was always cold, so he typically slept in the attire Luke was currently wearing. 

“I guess that’s fine,” Spencer mumbled slowly, waiting for his boyfriend to join him in the bed, “but hurry up.”

Luke laughed lightly and one minute and forty-two seconds later, he was sliding into bed behind Spencer, pulling him into his chest. 

“That better?” Luke asked gently, one of his hands coming up to comb through Spencer’s hair. It was getting longer every day, he wanted to grow it out, not admitting the reason why to anyone but himself. He knew Luke had figured it out, it wasn’t hard to do so. 

“I can think of a few activities to keep our body temperature up and give us some exertion while stuck in the apartment. I mean, it must be weird not going on your morning run,” Spencer said softly, turning around in Luke’s arms and smiling. He heard as Luke cursed under his breath and that made Spencer start his movements, moving down under the blankets and tugging Luke’s pants down just enough to reveal his member. 

The older man hissed at the sudden cold air, but Spencer quickly remedied that, wasting no time on taking Luke into his mouth. He felt as Luke’s fingers threaded into his hair, pulling at the roots to elicit a moan out of Spencer, shooting the best vibrations up Luke’s cock. 

“Spencer, holy shit,” he moaned, throwing his head back on the pillow under his head. All Spencer could do was giggle softly, causing Luke to moan louder, “Just get up here, I want you,” Luke grunted out, pulling Spencer up by his hair. Spencer moaned at the feeling and slid his sweatpants off, crawling up Luke’s form and straddling his hips. 

“Get the lube,” he whispered and Luke reached into the nightstand, pulling out the familiar tube and Spencer snatched it from his hands and dumping the substance on his fingers, reaching his hand behind him and circling his own entrance. Spencer moaned at the feeling and easily sunk two fingers inside of himself, looking down to see how Luke was doing. The man was very obviously affected by watching his lover prep himself in his lap. The two of them were lucky that Spencer was still mostly stretched from last night. Spencer pulled his fingers out and whined, shuffling around so that he was hovering right over Luke’s cock. 

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Luke mumbled, looking up at Spencer with concern. Spencer smiled at that, knowing Luke didn’t want to risk hurting him. 

“I’m ready. You’re big, Luke, I’m still pretty stretched from last night,” he mumbled, leaning down and pressing his lips to Luke’s. It was rough, just how the two of them liked it. 

“You’re being pretty dominant today, Lindo,” Luke mumbled into the kiss. Spencer pulled away and cocked an eyebrow. 

“I’m not dominant, I just want your cock in me,” Spencer whined and reached behind him, grabbing Luke’s shaft and resting it against his hole. He slowly started to sink down and moaned as he did. It felt so nice, Luke stretching him so well. The sting was intoxicating, he loved it. He felt as he slowly settled on Luke’s hips, pausing for only a second before rocking his hips, moaning at the feeling of Luke so deep inside him, “Luke…” Luke only grunted, grabbing Spencer’s hips and immediately holding him up, planting his feet on the mattress and thrusting up into Spencer. The younger man couldn’t help the whine that elicited from the back of his throat, Luke’s cock hitting his prostate straight on. Luke kept the man elevated, thrusting quickly and as deep as he could, Spencer whimpering every time he hit his prostate, “Luke, I’m so close,” Spencer whined. The noise made Luke smirk, flipping the two over so he was looming over top Spencer, his thrusts not stopping. From the look in Spencer’s eyes, Luke knew what he wanted, bringing his arm up and wrapping his fingers around Spencer’s throat, watching as his eyes rolled back into his head. Luke smirked and tightened his hold, continuing to thrust into the younger man at a punishing pace. He could feel his orgasm building up and he ducked down, kissing the man and tightening the grip, knowing how euphoric it was for Spencer when he came while being restricted like this. 

Luke looked down as he felt hot liquid squirt on his chest and he moaned, feeling Spencer tighten around him. Spencer’s back was arching off the bed, hands gripping the pillow underneath his head. The sight alone was enough to push Luke over the edge, releasing into Spencer and continuing to fuck him through the orgasm. 

When he felt the last of it spill out, he pulled out of Spencer, taking his hand away and falling beside him on the bed. 

“How are you so good at that?” Spencer asked breathlessly, turning his head to look at Luke who only smirked in response. 

“How do you know I’m good? If I remember correctly, I’m only the second person you’ve slept with,” Luke mumbled and Spencer rolled his eyes. 

“If you would like to know, the only other person I’ve been with is Ethan, as you know. Before we got together, he was, let’s say, very frequent on his night escapades. He slept with 36 men and women before we got together, which is normal for a college kid. Ethan was good at sex, really good. Not only did I think that, but it was practically what he was known for. Now given that much more experienced people spoke of his above-average skills in pleasuring a partner, that gives us the conclusion that he’s great in bed. But you’re better. You make me feel even better than Ethan did and I didn’t think that was possible, but here we are,” Spencer said and cleared his throat, “Good enough?”

All Luke could do was smile, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Spencer’s, “God, I love you.”

\--

Returning to work was nerve-wracking, to say the least. Luke drove them both to the building as per usual, sneaking a small kiss before the elevator doors opened. That helped to alleviate his stress until the doors opened. He took in a deep breath and stepped out, heading to the bullpen. It was possible the team wouldn’t even notice that he had detoxed over the break, no one was able to make it to Quantico through the storm. As he opened the door, he realized he was the first one here, likely except for Hotch. 

Spencer went straight to the breakroom, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet, brewing some coffee for himself and Hotch. Hotch kept his coffee black, so Spencer only mixed his own before heading up to Hotch’s office, pushing the door open and smiling softly, “I’ve got some coffee for you.”

Hotch looked up from the papers on his desk and smiled slightly, as much as he ever would in the office, “Thank you, Spencer,” Hotch said and Spencer walked over, handing it to him, “Sit down. Please.”

Spencer hesitantly sat down, curling his legs up into the chair with him and holding the coffee mug up to his face, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s great. I just- I wanted to say how proud I am of you. I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries as your boss and do something about the issue, so I’m glad Luke helped you,” Hotch said softly, emotions pouring from both his eyes and words. 

Spencer couldn’t help it as tears started to well in his eyes, ducking his head down in an attempt to hide his face, “I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry I let my emotions affect my job. It was extremely unprofessional and I have no excuse for it whatsoever.”

He heard as Hotch stood from his chair, walking over to him, “Hey, it happens. You went through a lot in those two days. You were strong enough to have someone help you, okay? That in of itself shows how the drugs weren’t who you were. You were struggling, and it’s going to be hard, but you have me and you have Luke, okay?” Spencer looked up and saw Hotch leaning on the edge of his desk, smiling softly at the younger man, “Was Luke there for you the entire time?”

Spencer nodded softly and smiled, “He didn’t leave my side the entire time. He even, uhm, he got in the bathtub with me and held me so I wasn’t alone,” he knew it was probably oversharing, but he knew Hotch needed the reassurance. A smile gracing Hotch’s features proved Spencer right. 

“I’m really glad you found him, Spence. You deserve someone like him in your life.”

"Spence?" he asked gently and only giggled at the blush slowly settling over Hotch's cheeks. Spencer smiled and nodded slowly, letting the words sink in, “Yeah, I’m starting to think so too.”


End file.
